Closure

Lately I got myself thinking about closure.
It's so true we all need closure. When something is over we need to turn the page, we need to know the whys, the whens.
We don't want hang in there, victims of doubts.
Today I was pastsick for a while, you know, you can be seasick, homesick...well today I was pastsick for the time it takes to look at bright sky and wish you were at the sea, you are 18, you are mess, you don't what you want but you know you are going to get it, you don't know the meaning of love but somehow feel like you do, the arrogance of thinking I'm 18 I know it all, but those crazy summer nights, those bright summer days...
I wouldn't want to go back, I would like just like a taste of it, a spoon, a slice...
How strange,  my past it's mine but somehow doesn't belong to me anymore.

'till you cry

isn't it there anything as good as laughing till you cry?
maybe a couple things but not that many...

I run, I walk

Today it was a beautiful autumn day, warm.
I'm loving all these colour, I had forgotten what seasons look like, the dazing red, the happy yellow, the bright green, the sweet orange.
I went for a walk and met this elderly lady with a basket a her purse inside, she smiled and said "hello".
I went for a run while the sun was going down, and I though "well, you know what, my life is not perfect, it was never, and never it will, but there's so much to it, there's so much beauty, so much love, so many treasured memories, even if I consider the regrets, the doubts, the pain, the things I don't understand or the ones I wish I could change, here I'm
I'm here not by chance but because I chose to, because I made a stand, because I believed that it's too late only when you decide to give up.
Now I worry less, run slower and when a sweet old lady smiles at me I cry.

Fall

it's fall and everything is falling
my reasons, my doubts, my ideas
once again I've been tricked into believing
that you may say never and actually mean it
but then again life had a different plan for you
They say there is always a reason behind whatever happens
I think hard and I say out loud "sorry I just don't get it"
there's no reply,
it's a quite sunny afternoon
it's tranquil English afternoon
time is lazy when you don't know what to do
I sit under a red tree and I surrender
maybe everybody deserve a chance
it's fall after all

Already gone

I'm here, but already gone.
A new house that soon will be my new home
A new city that soon will become my new city
I feel light surrounded by heavy boxes
Strange days when you know where your future lies
but you are afraid of letting go of your past
maybe it's the fear of being forgotten
maybe it would be easier to stay
but you can't do that.
A new beginning
a new chapter
a new page
it's the end of summer
it's beautiful to run while the rain is soft and nobody is around
my thoughts are in my head
my life is in a box

I will never be a tree

Unsaid

it's heavy on my brain
it's hanging in there
it takes a very brave person
to hunt for words
grab 'em
punch 'em
and speak the unsaid
if only...
so many eloquent silences
we could call them
the wikisilence

a friend

is like a shadow
is like a cloud
is like the smell of fresh cut grass
delicate
fresh
it fills you lungs with all those happy, sad memories.
And I think to myself
so much time
so much life
things we lost
things we gained
but for a moment
we leave them all behind
we live the now
my friend and I
we have time for nothing else 
but the bearable lightness of the moment
one